Update!

As you all have noticed, I have been absent for quite a while. The days before the wedding evaporated more quickly than I could have ever imagined. I felt like I didn’t have time to breathe, let alone prepare for the married life!

The wedding day was… Perfect. I think only one thousand things went wrong. And I didn’t care even a tiny bit. (I’m sure my mom did, however, because she was the one running around putting everything right.) I married my best friend! What else could matter?!

We left early Sunday morning for Disneyland and spent six long, magical days in the happiest place on earth.

Since I am no longer engaged, this blog is no longer a reflection of my life. If you would like to continue to follow my journey of being a newlywed Catholic wife, please visit: marriedandcatholic.wordpress.com

Thank you for all your support so far, I look forward to writing more in the future and letting it become part of my everyday.

God Bless.

Let the butterflies commence…

Perspective

Please forgive me if my blogging has been a little behind lately. Now that I am less than a week away from the wedding the list of things to do has piled up substantially.

It seems like no matter how hard I try to be level-headed and calm the CBS (Crazy Bride Syndrome) takes me over almost without me noticing. But yesterday something happened that put things into perspective.

I’m going to marry the man of my dreams. And that marriage starts on January 14th. But it continues on from there. For years and years if I am lucky.

So instead of worrying about making everything for one day perfect, I am going to make sure that the man I am going to marry knows exactly just how much I love him. I am going to make it a part of my life’s mission to love him, and care for him and make him happy every single day. Because he makes me happy, and he deserves everything back that he gives to me.

We are supposed to live this life with the knowledge that it is only temporary. Our lives are not our own, but Gods. His will will be done. So I won’t take one day for granted, because who can know when that one day will be the last?

Beauty and the Beast

Children believe what we tell them. They have complete faith in us. They believe that a rose plucked from a garden can plunge a family into conflict. They believe that the hands of a human beast will smoke when he slays a victim, and that this will cause the beast shame when a young maiden takes up residence in his home. They believe a thousand other simple things. I ask of you a little of this childlike simplicity, and, to bring us luck, let me speak four truly magic words, childhoods open sesame: ‘Once upon a time…’

 

My first example of a true, romantic love story is the Beauty and the Beast. This is a story that has been told for centuries, originating in France. As many classic fairy tales, it was originally meant as a lesson to children. Belle had two sisters, both were much more vain, but much less beautiful than Belle. When their father was taken captive by the Beast, Belle took her father’s place. She was modest and kind, and ultimately willing to do anything to help her father. I suppose the lesson in this is that helping your parents will send you to almost certain doom? Maybe not…

In the more popular Disney version of the film, a different moral focus is presented. Belle is still a polite and well-rounded girl, who does sacrifice herself for the good of her father. But pointed nods to what a good daughter she is, is not as obvious, I think Disney wanted to make sure children wouldn’t go running around saving their parents. In the real world, it’s best to let the parents do that kind of stuff. Disney wanted to focus more on how Belle reacted to the Best, teaching him a valuable lesson about not always getting his way, not always being obeyed, and yet not being allowed to fly off the handle every time something like that happened. There is a beast in all of us that wants everything to go your way. (Sometimes that beast is named the Bride

On a side-note, the Disney film of this tale is closely based on the classic 1946 film La Belle et la Bete. It is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen and I recommend everyone see it if possible. With all the special-effects and movie magic we have available today, no other movie has captured magic in a way that one has, in my opinion. The opening quote is the title sequence before the movie, from the director to his audience.

What makes Beauty and the Beast such a perfect love story, no matter how or when the story is told, is how they ultimately fall in love. Belle is always beautiful and kind and intelligent and all those wonderful qualities were terrifying for the Beast. He was intimidated by her, and what was once a proud and unkind man, became a timid and gentle beast.

And while the beast was getting over his fears, the beautiful girl was realizing there was a man underneath the beast and he wasn’t as terrible or awful as he tried to appear, but it was a front for his insecurities.

This is a story of two people becoming close friends, not realizing the love they have until the chance is so slim, they almost lose each other forever.

Love comes from a much deeper and beautiful place than the exterior. If love were only based on the physical, it would only last a few years. Or only during bathing suit season. Belle and the Beast were able to find the parts of each other no one else had ever seen, and in that, were able to make a connection that survived even near death. And that is why it is such a beautiful love story.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think!

Prayer for a Blessing on the New Year

O sacred and adorable Trinity, hear our prayers on behalf of our holy Father the Pope, our Bishops, our clergy, and for all those in authority over us.

Bless, we beseech Thee, during the coming year, the whole Catholic Church; convert heretics and unbelievers; soften the hearts of sinners so that they may return to Thy friendship; give prosperity to our country and peace among the nations of the world; pour down Thy blessings upon our friends, relatives and acquaintances, and upon our enemies, if we have any; assist the poor and the sick; have pity on the souls of those whom this year has taken from us; and do Thou be merciful to those who during the coming year will be summoned before Thy judgment seat.

May all our actions be preceded by Thy inspirations and carried on by Thy assistance, so that all our prayers and works, having been begun in Thee, may likewise be ended through Thee.

Amen.

Romance

It’s tough to say this out loud, but I must admit that at one time I was a fan of the Twilight series.  I finished reading them before Vinnie and I dated and I was hopelessly obsessed with the whole thing. Try not to judge me too harshly, I was a lonely college student who desperately wanted somebody to love me the way Edward loved Bella.

It wasn’t until I started dating Vinnie that I realized what a backwards relationship they had.  Not only was Edward scary over-protective and watchful (much more like a father than a boyfriend), he was also crazy jealous; she couldn’t go see her best friend, really?  And!  She had to change everything about herself to stay with him.  I realize that there were not-really-all-that-subtle Christian-like undertones in the book, promoting waiting for sex till after marriage, etc.  However, the idea that you have to give up your family whom you love, the friends who have been there for you, the future you have always planned for yourself and most shockingly your soul, just to be with someone is reprehensible.

I understand no relationship is perfect, and that lots of people have to give things up in order to be together.  But what I also understand is that if someone truly loves you, they will always want the best for you, even if it means not being completely happy themselves.  It was not the best for Vinnie to get married while he was in school, he couldn’t handle being a full-time student and a full-time husband.  I needed to support him.  It is very very important to me to always feel spiritually fulfilled, whether we pray together, or even if it’s just sitting next to each other at mass every single Sunday, that is something I can not give up.  And Vinnie has never, ever asked me to give up on that, because he wants the best for me.

So to say that this “romance” between a dead human (Edward) and a live human (Bella) is something beautiful and Christian is a lie.  She had to give up her family, her life, and her soul, only to survive the life that she married into.  It is portrayed in the books as something to be enjoyed.  Immortality is no gift.  I may be pushing for this one but it seems to me immortality is more of a euphemism for hell.  What is hell?  Hell is the absence of all hope, hell is the absence of all love, hell is the absence of God.  If one cannot die, there can be no hope.  So it is an eternity of hell.

It looks pretty gruesome from this angle, huh? Not at all the romantic picture they try to paint.

So, in honor of romance, real romance, and of course my up-coming wedding (15 days, thank you very much) my next few posts will be dedicated to fictional romances that show what real love is supposed to be.  (Since I am not a licensed well… anything, I should mention these are only the romances that my fiance and I really love, and you are welcome to agree or disagree on any of them!) I hope that with these posts everyone will find a story that speaks to them the way they have for me.

Exhausted

Has anyone else noticed how exhausting Christmas can be? I worked all week, long hours, and worked all day Christmas eve. Then it was time for dinner with my family. We ate, drank, laughed and played a riotous game of white elephant, then it was time to get ready for midnight mass. I’ve been to a few churches that do midnight mass around seven or eight, but since we go to the Cathedral, midnight mass starts at 12am. It was a beautiful but long mass, and we drove home around 1:30am. Then I woke up around 8:30 and got ready for Christmas day with my very soon to be in-laws and my very wonderful fiancé.

Now that Christmas day is more than half over, I find myself exhausted and more than a little done with the holiday season.

Sometimes in the midst of everything that goes on its hard to remember why it is that Christmas is the best time of year. There is so much negativity and anger sometimes, and its so frustrating. But last night I was able to sit with my whole family at mass and hold hands with my future husband, and tonight he has his head in my lap while I cry watching my favorite movie “It’s A Wonderful Life”.

As clichè as it sounds, I am so lucky and I do have a wonderful life. So despite the angry customers and the exhaustion, it has been the best Christmas ever.